Lesson #16: Dying to Selfishness

During my senior year of cross-country at Cedarville University, I received a major disappointment. My coach took me out of the National Championship meet to run another girl. I had earned the spot, but due to politics, I got bumped to the sidelines. I worked hard for 4 seasons, took my role as a team captain seriously, and was having my best season yet; this was completely unjust. It hurt. The night after I found out, I remember going out to the track to run, cry, and pray.

It was especially hard going to the National meet only as a cheerleader. I can still clearly picture the team lining up for the race. It took all the strength that God could give to hold back from crying. I desperately wanted to have my uniform and running shoes on and wanted to join my teammates in the quest for a top finishing place. The team placed 2nd that year. Yes, it was MY team, but it didn't feel like it.

God taught me A LOT about being selfLESS that season. My best friend and teammate, Christina, went to the coach on my behalf to express her sadness and frustration with his decision to take me out of the race. She even refused to run the race herself, but I talked her out of that choice. :-) When the girls went up to receive their 2nd place awards, Christina came straight to me and gave me her trophy. Are you getting a picture of selfLESSness yet?

This trial gave me ample time to pray and spend with God. I didn't understand why He was allowing this in my life. But I did understand that I was going to be refined through this process, whether I liked it or not. Even though it was very difficult to watch my team race without me that day, God gave me undeniable peace and joy through the hardship. I realized life cannot be all about me. I was forced to give up something I worked hard to get. I was forced to be selfless. But in the end, it taught me that I should desire to be selfless.

My friend Christina will ALWAYS stick out to me as a great example of someone who lives by Philippians 2:3-5-

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus."

Oh, may God help as I desire to take my eyes off myself so to see the needs of the students, friends, family, and even strangers around me. Life is not about what I want. This race is ALL about dying to my own selfish desires and being like Christ, being selfLESS.